Dear music fans: Please stop being assholes

Dear concert goers,

I know that you stood outside for hours, possibly in inclement weather you weren't dressed for (thanks to an attempt at being fashionable), just to secure that spot on the barrier. Believe me, I understand, I've done it myself far too many times to count. I get it that being close enough to the lead singer to touch him/feel his breath/show him your tits is high on your bucket list, and I'm not trying to get in your way of that novel pursuit. However, I am here to do a job, my job, the job that I've wanted for years, as passionately perhaps as you have wanted to feel that band member's "package." And really, I don't need your crap.

Yes, part of my job is coming between you and that "indie sex god" you are drooling over up on stage. In fact, in order to do said job, I have to stand 6 inches from that guy and still try to make him look properly shaped, and if I'm lucky even in the right light and properly framed, thanks to some tricks performed by modern technology and a lot of expensive glass. It would really make it a hell of a lot easier if you weren't throwing beers at me, trying to pull my hair, asking me for my photo pass so you can get backstage and seduce someone, and yelling at me to get the fuck out of your view so you can take your own camera phone snaps.

The thing you guys are failing to get, possibly blitzed out of your mind on several shots you took to tame the horror of a crappy opening band, or just plain tired and with achy feet from standing there so bloody long, is that I will only be in your way for 3 songs. Three. Fucking. Songs. Around 10 minutes, that's all I get, to get in that tiny barrier where I'm falling all over the six other photographers, running to catch each member of the band who are oblivious to my need to get an image of them, trying to make the best of the insane effects the light guy is trying out, and not piss off the security guards so they kick me out before my 3 songs are even up. After those three songs, I'll be out of your way, probably never to see you again, and the show goes on like I was never there, and by the time you leave you'll be so thrilled with the two hours of music you just lived through (unless the band really sucked and let you down all around), you won't even remember hide nor hair of me.

I started out where you guys were once. I skipped a whole lot of great gigs to save up the money for my gear, and I went to a lot of lousy gigs I didn't want to in order to get the portfolio I needed to get a job taking pictures. Here's a hint... If having your own photo pass really means that much to you, you can do it too. But you should really start by chilling out. To work in the music industry requires eating a lot of humble pie, sucking up, and being nice to people no matter how little you can stand them. Going around with your nasty attitude towards the venue staff, security, the bartender, the band's crew, and yes even the journalists, is not the way to go. Unless, you know, being a groupie is all you aspire to in life, and you don't know that "you can catch more flies with honey than vinegar" might apply to those endeavours too...